Hey kids, want to feel better about your day?
Against my better judgement, I stayed up too late and watched the final episode of "The Kennedys". Against my better judgement, I read one too many chapters of BossyPants by Tina Fey (so funny). My lack of judgement made me go to bed wayyyy past my bedtime.
I awoke from a brutal nightmare (I couldn't find my minivan and there was a terrorist attack going down) at around 2 a.m. I got back to sleep eventually, only to be woken up by Edie who also had a brutal nightmare (giants yo). After a game of musical beds/pillows we settled in her bed and fell asleep. I was woken up by Grace around 4:30 who was suffering from nightmares too scary to even talk about (wasn't sure if I should call bullshit on that or not). Too tired to fight, I flopped into her bed, amazed at her strength and ability to wrestle all the blankets from her mother and I curled up the fetal position and sucked my thumb until I fell asleep.
When the cruel cruel alarm went of from my bedroom at 6:45, I was still in Grace's room and couldn't whack the snooze button so I HAD to get up to shut the damn thing off. Whoops. Something was amiss. Oh, one of my eyes was sealed shut, that's all Have I mentioned that I have brutal seasonal allergies? Well, this week they have manifested themselves into various eye pleasing ways, such as the golf ball sized hive on my forehead a couple of days ago (I don't have bangs, just sayin') and a crusty shut right eye this morning. But life must go on. I attempted to wake the girls who were very cranky from their disturbed slumber last night and I had to get them out the door by 8:00 for their camp outing today. While I was trying to get them up, the phone began ringing incessantly. When I finally picked up the phone (I have the ability to say WHAT! FUCK! with a simple chilly "Hello" in these instances) it was Jonas reminding me to empty the pool skimmer or elsebadthingswillhappenanditwillallbemyfault (he's been out of town this week).
Okay, so, with one eye shut and my robe falling open I went outside to empty the stupid damn skimmer. When I picked it up I let out a blood curdling scream because there was a dead frog floating in it. I am irrationally scared of 3 things in life 1) Zombies 2) Cannibalism (have you seen The Road?) and 3) Frogs. So, kindly picture a one eyed, robe flapping open crazy haired mama screaming and running around in her back yard, all while her little darlings are inside watching Phineas and Ferb, eating their Cheerios, oblivious to it all.
I won't even go into the epic fit Edie pitched when I attempted to get her moving towards the door, but it did involve her slamming Lambey to the floor (poor Lambey, NOT his fault) and a few solid rounds of "you don't love me". While this chaos was going done, Grace thought it would be a good time to ask me about Halloween and what she should dress up as, what hood in Toronto we were going to trick or treat in etc etc. Forgive me Grace for not engaging in this particular conversation at this particular moment in time.
And, not sure who I think I am, but I also put on white jeans just to tempt the Fates this morning.
Feel better about your morning? You're welcome.